I am tired.
Drained.
Lost.
Plagued by sleep demons.
I have a little son who refuses to sleep on his own, and it's immeasurably hard.
Last night, after 2 hours of pleading with Oscar to lie down, close his eyes, I finally crumbled. Dragging a doona and a pile of pillows into his room, I collapsed on the floor and slept. It seemed to work, because before long he was asleep too. At least until 2am, when we gave in to his cries and let him sleep in our bed.
This morning was Groundhog Day. Awoken by a flutter of blonde hair tickling my nose, a little boy curled into the crook of my arm. Two years of Groundhog Day.... it's tiring. Bittersweet even, for I do love sharing sleep with Oscar. Balancing on an inch of mattress, with ten little toes in the small of my back.
It's what being a mum is all about, right?
.
Perhaps we're slowly getting somewhere because tonight was only 1 1/2 hours, and instead of pleading we talked and sang and I sat until his eyes finally closed and I could slip out the door.
.
How I wish it was okay to let him sleep in my arms all night, snuggled up and dreaming together. But I know that one of the greatest lessons for a child is that of independence, security and confidence. I want my little man to have all these things, so I continue on.
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I hope you're getting some sleep tonight xx
.
Perhaps we're slowly getting somewhere because tonight was only 1 1/2 hours, and instead of pleading we talked and sang and I sat until his eyes finally closed and I could slip out the door.
.
How I wish it was okay to let him sleep in my arms all night, snuggled up and dreaming together. But I know that one of the greatest lessons for a child is that of independence, security and confidence. I want my little man to have all these things, so I continue on.
.
I hope you're getting some sleep tonight xx
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Ahh those little toes! And elbows and hair tickling your nose... all the things you love and hate at the same time x
ReplyDeleteOh, how I feel for you Chrissy...It takes me back to the trouble I had with my 1st and 2nd born...The 1st would take hours to go to sleep, but once asleep was fine, the 2nd would go to sleep fine but wake up every 2 hours...and yes, it's terribly exhausting...he started sleeping through the same time my 3rd born did...No. 2 was 2 1/2 and no. 3 was 8 weeks!
ReplyDeleteI really do hope you find some sleep very very soon.
I too long for a decent night's sleep :)
ReplyDeleteWe have co-slept with each of our 5 children until they progressed into a BIG bed and had no trouble getting them to sleep alone...roll on Master 1yo and moving into his own bed.
Xx
I've dragged doonas and pillows into Grace's room and slept on the floor a few times before. Sleep deprivation is terrible, I hope things improve for you soon x
ReplyDeleteOh Chrissy...this is exactly where we are at. Isobel refuses to sleep unless i am cuddling her. Day sleeps and night sleeps. I usually cuddle up with her and slip out the door upend then she eventually wakes and comes in to our bed...can u imagine me in the toddler bed with izzy under one arm, my body twisted far enough over to have a boob in ayla's mouth? It's been a loooonng 12 weeks! Izzy wakes when i night feed so is feral the next day. We are at a loss as to what to do because she won't even let micka lie with herl has to be mum. He ends up in the toddler bed :( So, anyway i feel your pain and if in find a magic solution i will let you know (sleep school is looking pretty good at this stage) xx
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